iconoclast article 010

the importance of understanding where others are coming from

There will be many opportunities in our lives to be correct about what we’re talking about although arguing with others is never the positive approach. Arguing can be so energy-consuming and completely unnecessary. It leads to bonds being broken and bridges being burnt. Of course, this is natural. Not everyone we encounter is meant to stay and be in our lives. 

It is so important to remember the people we heavily depend on and who we care about as well. Every day can give a sense of the same day occurring each day although every day is different in its ways. We may live a day with absolutely no arguments, and then there will be other days that involve multiple instances of arguing. Although it indeed takes two people to argue, it’s extremely tough sometimes to walk away while hearing what the argument entails. Our brains can’t help but want to be right all the time. 

Winning in an argument doesn’t drastically change our lives, maybe in some cases although most of the time we tend to hurt each other without the slightest hint. Over time a build-up of deliberate arguing will only lead to an overload of stress towards ourselves and the people we argue with. Winning an argument floods our brains with both adrenaline and dopamine, this can lead to us feeling dominant and invincible. In comparison, we leave others feeling wrong and unaccepted. We never know what someone else is going through unless we ask. We never know if they’ve even eaten for the day. 

In any dispute when agreements are made, our brains synchronize which means vice versa when we disagree our brains disconnect. The effects of a negative dispute also play a huge role in what our bodies experience at that moment. Our heart rates speed up, blood pressure and respiration arise, and even our body temperature rises. When we argue we are most likely trying to change another individual’s behavior and their mind, this can show a lack of empathy within ourselves. Accepting that everyone is allowed to think in the ways they want is crucial, As mentioned before we never know what’s happening on the opposite side of the spectrum. 

We have put together a list of exercises to practice when encountering a potential argument. 

If you’re already stressed out from multiple problems, stop yourself from arguing. The dispute will not encourage less stress. 

Practice emotional control by taking deep breaths when needed.

Use active listening to hear what the other individuals are saying, it’s so easy to trust our first reactions. 

Give others space to collect themselves while doing the same. 

Build better communication skills and set goals to improve how we come across to others.  

The ways we treat others reflect the respect that we have for ourselves. We encourage cognitive harmony and communication skills. Wishing you a productive and gratifying day.