iconoclast article 017

holding our tongue

Holding our tongue - There will be millions of instances where we are tested on different levels of self-control, these various tests will include how we respond to others and their influence on us, and our patience with both ourselves and them. There will always be new opportunities to build upon our self-control, especially when replying or speaking to others. Not everyone is prepared for the things that we have to say to them, nor do they want to hear our comments, nor may they agree. 

It’s important to decipher for ourselves when we are having either a thought or when we’re thinking. Both can be considered to be the same thing, although there’s a bit of difference between the two. Thoughts come as they are, we don’t decide or know what it is that we will have thoughts about. After having thoughts, we can choose whether we provide them with positive or negative connotations. From an early age in our lives, we instinctively demand to be correct about as many things as we find possible. Taking a few steps back to remind ourselves that there is so much that we don’t know compared to what we do know can give us a better perspective of the bigger picture. 

There will always be room for improvement in any situation and any circumstance. Saving ourselves the words we would usually express what we’re feeling with can have an upside. By saving our words, we’re able to show the other individual that what they’ve said or done has not affected us. Most people grew up and still are growing up in an environment where responsibility and accountability are not taken seriously. Although not taking life seriously has become a trend we encourage the movement of learning the most about yourself and finding a natural groove. You can indeed tell a lot about someone and ourselves from what irritates and makes us angry. 

It’s an unconventional act to purposefully motivate our haters, although there’s nothing to lose. Helping someone else gain a better sense of self-control will only work in positive ways, and it can be tough to step out of the giant egos that we spend the majority of our time building. However, upon stepping outside of ourselves, there are numerous opportunities to see everything else that is also going on. Taking the time to acknowledge the different people in our lives and the unique circumstances we all deal with consistently will encourage us to be more empathetic. 

Taking the negative thoughts of others personally while using them to stir the pot to create more chaos does not help any situation. In times when someone is trying their best to get under our skin, it can be valuable to approach the conversation unconventionally. This can mean asking them what’s been irritating them, allowing more room for meaningful discussion. 

There is no mastery in self-control, all that we can do is take advantage of the wisdom that we’re provided. There will always be new data that gives us different hits of dopamine. These are suggestions to implement into daily life for more happiness. Love yourself.