iconoclast article 029

revising our circles 

Now and then, our social circles get filled with individuals who contribute very little to our overall vibe. We must be careful in how we curate our time while spending it with many people. It’s worth considering that not all people have the best intentions when thinking of us. We all have experienced individuals who hang around for the benefits we provide them with. It can become very habitual to take advantage of another person’s kindness.

People who find it within themselves to take advantage of us must communicate respectfully. We often end up blaming someone’s character instead of their behavior. Once we understand the concept that people’s behavior does not determine their character, there is a whole paradigm shift. Not everyone will react the same way when we are setting boundaries, although it is ultimately up to us to have a conscious conversation that identifies our expectations and what makes us uncomfortable. Everyone deserves to have a social circle that fills them with inspiration and confidence. Individuals who support our ideas and provide constructive feedback are gifts. 

Taking the time to curate our circles and identify people who are making it harder for us is valuable. It may stand as a challenge to distance ourselves from certain individuals, especially intimate partners. It can be as though the time we’ve already invested in our relationships/friendships would be wasted if we were to sever the connection. This is also known as the sunk cost fallacy. Recognizing that the past is only created within our minds can help beat this fallacy. The time that has already passed is gone regardless of whether we consider it a great time or a waste of time. 

Revising our circles can contribute more than enough benefits. Including building our relationship with ourselves more and asking deeper questions about the people we allow in our lives. Using our time in a more productive way with people we find peace within is a great exercise. There are many people who we’ve yet to meet who also could have similar interests as us. Meeting new people can be very exciting, although also very intimidating - the perspective is up to us.  

Perception is everything. The ways we choose to look through our glasses of life are decided by us, although society will always downplay this truth. Often, we fall into the action of taking life way too seriously. More than ever, there’s been an increase in the amount of information we’re able to access all at once. So much information leaves us fixating on so many different unnecessary conversations, arguments, and negativity. Revising our circles can influence the way we do things, the way we spend time, and who gets our time. We all know how it feels to be somewhere with people we are comfortable with, although we want to leave the setting/venue/vibe. 

We all get gut feelings from our subconscious minds that act as radars for our peace of mind. Whether seeing numbers, words, an actual gut feeling, goosebumps, etc. The individuals who act as gifts in our lives should always be respected. The others who try to take advantage of us cannot be blamed alone, we live in a world where it is taught. It is ultimately up to us to take the necessary time to build self-awareness, which can lead to endless possibilities. Taking our mental health and social circles seriously is overdue. It may be worth remembering that our worst enemies could be our best friends, and our best friends could be our worst enemies.